Kirsten Kristensen

Certified CNVC trainer in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), family therapist and mediator.

“Conflicts are an invitation to get creative and find better solutions. To create positive change requires that we make an effort to express our own needs and make an effort to listen to others.”

I serve on the board of CNVC from September 2020 to May 2022 as the treasurer:

From CNVC’s website:

Kirsten feels honored to serve our international community on CNVC’s Board. She trusts that together we can create amazing movements that none of us can do alone and that we can organize ourselves for more impact in how we work towards the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible. When Kirsten met Marshall in 1998, she decided to take every opportunity to study with him and share NVC with others. She found NVC to be the missing link in her work as a family therapist, and in her personal development and spiritual growth. Kirsten’s interest in leadership & organizational structures led her to attend several CNVC board meetings as an observer, starting in 2002 in Hungary where organizing CNVC with circles was talked about for the first time.

Kirsten’s main project has been creating the association LIVKOM, which serves as the foundation for NVC work in Denmark and abroad. LIVKOM (Life-Enriching Communication) has supported many projects including winning funding for 10 projects since 2009 and involved NVC trainers to deliver them. In 2006, she created her own publishing house when the big publishers were not willing to bring out more of Marshall’s books in Danish. She has brought 9 titles to the Danish audience. Over the years, Kirsten has shared NVC in many countries from North to South, West to East, including Healing and Reconciliation with NVC in Nepal in 2014 and 2016, a project she found very meaningful. Kirsten is ready to do playful work and have serious fun with CNVC. Learn more about Kirsten. (term expires June 2022)

When I entered the CNVC board in the summer 2020, I set out the following aims and we are getting there:

I want to make my knowledge, experience, skills and collected wisdom available.

I see the first pressing job for CNVC board to care for 2 big areas: Financial sustainability and Reconnection and Healing among CT’s.

I see a way forward in focusing on Projects and Fundraising while strengthening collaboration with CTs, and creating accountable channels of communication.

I see CNVCs board handling administrative issues and developing policies that guide our work, with compassion and political savvy – “from now on”.

I support local and regional groups in having more influence and responsibility. A more connecting role in training the candidates and cooperating with assessors. I support regional groups to include candidates and supporters in their network and cooperation, so there is a clear place for them to connect. I support a linking between CNVC and regional groups, so CNVC can focus on communication with groups, instead of 700+ individuals. Maybe use Sociocratic structure with double links or similar channels for communication.

I support transparency, inviting everybody’s wisdom, creating feedback mechanisms that supports accountability, clarity and maybe new ways of fulfilling tasks for the community. Maybe changing what we do based on renewed priorities. Fx:

•     How are assessors chosen, trained and given feedback about needs met and not met?
•     How are IIT-RT team chosen, trained and given feedback?
•     How are CCC members chosen, trained and given feedback?
•     Develop IIT and choose trainer teams for IITs.
•     Formulating/revising Trainer agreement and contribution to CNVC.
•     How will we deal with complaints from participants and conflicts in our network?
•     Developing new areas like Projects and Fundraising and much more

My focus is on creating structures that enhance our co-operation and helps us share NVC with more people, contribute to social change. Structures/frames that will support us in bridging the divides between us around for example:

•     What is NVC?
•     How to work with “Privilege”?
•     How to increase access for “underrepresented” groups?
•     Getting clear how Influence and Responsibility can play together? “Influence comes to you as you take on more responsibility”.
•     Who gets to decide what, and how? Not a few deciding for many, but many deciding together – facilitated by a few.

I want to listen to others with openness, curiosity and compassion especially to those I don’t agree with or don’t understand. I will ask for help when I don’t manage to show up with openness, curiosity and compassion.

I will involve and consult with my colleagues.

My experience:

I am a 67 years old woman, living and born in Denmark. I am one of those that makes a lot of social change project possible because I care, have time, experience and opportunities to do volunteer work.

I was part of the GCC – Global Community Circle that in the years 2007-2009 worked on a suggestion for organizing CNVC and CTs in circles. I received intensive training in Sociocracy and was part of forming the Nordic-Baltic-NVC-Circle, with links to English Europe-Africa Circle.

I have experience of working in an association with international outreach LIVKOM: https://livkom.dk/internationale-projekter-girafsprog/

Certified 2003. Served as trainer at 6 IITs, attended 7 IITs, organized 2 IITs, spent more than 100 days with Marshall in trainings & board meetings.

2004-2018 I gave 100-120 days of NVC training each year. In 2019 less. I organized most of these trainings myself and organized for others as well.

When we work together, we can do more!

In 1998, I met Marshall B. Rosenberg, the author of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). I noticed how NVC added a deeper dimension to my work as a therapist, especially in the way NVC contributes to the development of our relational competencies. Since then, as the only one in Denmark, I have spent more than 100 days with Marshall B. Rosenberg.

I am co-founder of the Association Life Enriching Communication (LIVKOM). An association that supports nonviolent conflict engagement and peaceful coexistence in everyday life. The association works with individuals – from self-empathy to anti bullying in schools, and internationally with Peace Engineering and reconciliation after war. We work with public and privately funded projects that are widely adopted and applied in the Nordic countries among others.

I am a family therapist from the Kempler Institute and Seminar leader from Familylab International and have undertaken professional development courses in psychology. Read CV

I work with family counseling, therapy and coaching as well as conflict mediation and supervision in businesses. I offer courses, lectures and 1-year CNVC-certified training courses with a focus on personal development and communication. I specialize in topics such as healing, inner child work, guilt and shame, conflict resolution, body wisdom, anger transformation, grieving in life-enriching ways, inner dialogue, culture of peace, empathy and communication in general.

I offer courses and coaching both in Denmark, abroad and online. See courses here

My work in other countries

I work as an NVC coach in Denmark, internationally and online and hold courses in the USA, Brazil, India, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Holland, Liechtenstein, Moldova, Norway, Poland, Russia, Spain, Sweden, Germany, UK, Ukraine, Hungary and Austria.

Among other things, I have worked in Nepal with healing and reconciliation after the civil war.

Watch films on restorative dialogues in Nepal – Healing and reconciliation after civil war and earthquakes.

“Kirsten is insanely competent. She is a skilled and caring course leader, exemplary in the way she lives NVC. Her communication is permeated by her long-term experience with NVC. She is able to improvise with what comes from the course participants and it is safe and inspiring. We come with our bumbling attempts, and Kirsten steps in and SHOWS how it can be. Kirsten does not turn NVC off during the lunch break; It is clear that NVC is not just a technique to be mastered, but something that comes from the heart and it can be felt. I think she is a really skilled leader and coach.”

Milena Høgsberg, exhibition inspector

Participant at NVC foundation course, May 2018