“Kirsten teaches from her being, not from her knowing.”
“As a business owner and leader, in both negotiations and day-to-day management, I experience being in situations where there is something at stake – for myself and for others inside or outside the organization. In these situations, I have experienced several times that my training in NVC has been helpful.
I believe that increased well-being gives a better organization, which gives a better bottom line, and that it is therefore just right for many companies to consider this. And I believe that an NVC course for employees and managers / owners could make such a difference, so that well-being is increased, with fewer sick days and higher efficiency as an effect, a generally better atmosphere and joy in working, faster workflows because conflicts are resolved easier and collaboration flows easier, and ultimately the company will be able to increase its profits as a result. I believe it. And should it turn out that no more money is being made, then the world has at least become a better place in the meantime, and I will be able to live with that 😉
I experience a curiosity about what the other person’s needs are. I have used this both for “internal information” (a knowledge within myself) and some I could reflect quite specifically. I remember among other things being in a contract negotiation situation where I said to the person I was negotiating with, that I think that what is important to both of us is the need for security – and in addition, I ask him if there is a different strategy to the one we have on the table now that could get us there. I probably used some words other than this, but the form is actually pretty much straight out of the textbook.
I experience feeling less “scared” in conflict situations; but instead remind myself that both the other and myself are in the process of seeking to meet needs. And when I see these needs clearly, they make good sense to me; even though I may disagree with the specific proposed strategy / course of action. I have personally been in situations with employees several times where there was a potential for conflict. And in these, I kept calm (even though the heart certainly beat faster) and simply listened empathically with the knowledge that there was something important at stake for the other (unmet need) and that my first “task” was simply to exist present and listen so that the other person can sense that I am present with my willingness to try to understand him / her.
I believe that this has made it easier / less stressful for me to be a leader, and more enjoyable for my employees to be employed by my company. Does this mean that all conflicts are a mere fantasy and that everything is sweetness and light? No it does not. But I believe it has made our company a nicer place to be as a human being!
Michael Stehr Lilhav, Denmark, 2020
HUGE HUGS to YOU!!! ????“
For me, Kirsten is an important example of what competences the modern leader should strive to establish in themselves before allowing themselves to lead others. Kirsten maintains an open dialogue, accommodates and gives space to everyone’s voice in the group. She also gives way to an emotional presence, which brings out the whole team / group’s development potential in the most effective way I have ever experienced. Kirsten is for me to see exactly the type of leader the future is screaming for, but unfortunately still rarely seen. The type of leadership that will create the greatest success for our community in both business and the public.
– Camilla Duus, Cand.Comm. 2017
I have been empowered in the importance of sticking to oneself and being true to one’s own feelings and needs.
NVC has changed my rhetoric when talking to children as well as colleagues. I stay in my own lane and I know that the key to solving the problems that arise is in the conflicting parties – not in me!
– Lone, deltager på lærerkursus 2015
I have become more confident in my own skills in giraffe language. I have been reminded of how important and protective it is for me to return to needs – both as an explanation for what other people are doing and as a process of recognition and protection for myself when I feel a discomfort of some sort.
I have learned that I can contribute to people’s process and healing.
– Michael, 2015
Hard to express in a few words, but especially I think I’ve got a whole new sense of empathic communication. And to be aware of what real needs are within me when I express myself, or even better before I do. Sharpened attention to my projections. I had actually walked around thinking I was free of that kind 😉
– Course Participant, 2015
Great respect. Can’t think of anything else to write but that you both just have to continue the way you do it.
I was full of admiration for your way of dealing with the sudden feelings and needs of the more ‘therapy-seeking’ course participants along the way.
– Course Participant, 2015